Friday, June 18, 2010

For Good

At the risk of being a typically cliched gay man, or a typical man unable to share his emotions in his own words, a selection some of you may be familiar with:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

Tere, For all I have done and all I failed to do, I am so very very sorry. I was unable and unwilling to see my flaws, my failings and I pushed you away. I drew away from the one person who loved me despite all my insecurities and fears. I hope you can forgive me. Though I know you may never read this, know that I forgive you. I have been changed forever because of your love, kindness and wisdom.

Though I've had to release and mourn the death and loss of my sweet southern cowboy partner and lover, I can now embrace and rejoice at the birth of my beautiful, wonderful sister and friend.

Goodbye Douglas, I will always love and remember you.

Hello Teresa I will always love and treasure you.

I have been changed for good.

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